RECIPROCITY is a powerful tool in sales. Popularised by Dr Robert Cialdini in his book Influence: Science and Practice, (If you haven't read it yet, DO!)

It’s the idea that people feel compelled to return favours. In the context of sales, leveraging reciprocity can help build trust, nurture relationships, and drive conversions.

It rarely means simply giving away freebies and hoping something comes from it. So let's get into it.

WHAT IS RECIPROCITY?

Reciprocity refers to the tendency of people to return what they have received.

When someone offers us something, we feel an innate obligation to give something back.

In sales, this principle can be harnessed by offering potential customers value before asking for a purchase or commitment.

When done right, reciprocity can lead to stronger connections and increased sales.

SMALL GESTURE, BIG IMPACT

You don’t need to give away costly items to trigger reciprocity. In fact, small, thoughtful gestures often have a greater effect. These include:

Helpful resources: Sharing relevant articles or guides helps customers feel valued and informed. I look for articles, books and posts that I can forward to my prospects and clients with a simple note "I thought this might be interesting". No ask. Just showing that I'm thinking about them.

Exclusive content or access: Giving early access to a new product or service can build goodwill.

Introductions to other people, or referrals: These are always appreciated. As long as you don't immediately ask them to reciprocate!

These small actions help build trust and show that you are genuinely invested in helping them.

Apparent effort is far more important than financial value.

THE PRINCIPLE OF GIVE & TAKE

Reciprocity works best when there’s no immediate expectation of something in return.

Offering value with a genuine desire to help, rather than with the aim of immediately closing a sale, is key.

When you are perceived as sincere, the sense of obligation to reciprocate becomes much stronger.

To be very cynical and quote Jean Giraudoux (or George Burns), the key to success in sales is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you have it made!

People can sense when gestures of generosity are manipulative, so it’s important to ensure that any favours or offers are made with authenticity.

When customers feel that the gesture is not a “bait and switch,” they are much more likely to return the favour in the form of a purchase or positive action.

I try to work on a ratio of 3:1. As in give three times, ask once.

TIMING MATTERS

Timing plays a crucial role in reciprocity.

For it to be most effective, you should offer their generosity before asking for something in return. This helps create a sense of obligation and builds goodwill that makes the other person more inclined to reciprocate later.

For example, during an initial meeting, offering free advice without immediately pushing for a sale can break down barriers.

By demonstrating expertise and willingness to help, you plant the seed for a potential sale down the road.

However, it’s essential to avoid pushing the sale immediately after offering the gesture—this will create pressure and kill the likelihood of a positive response.

BUILDING LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS

The ultimate goal of reciprocity in sales isn’t just about closing individual deals—it’s about creating long-term relationships with customers.

By offering value up front and continuing to engage with customers after the sale, you can foster loyalty and repeat business.

A customer who feels genuinely valued is more likely to return for future purchases or refer others to your business.

This relationship doesn’t end once the sale is made.

Following up with a thank-you note (try writing one long hand on paper - you won't believe the impact of receiving one of those!), offering additional support, or providing valuable updates keeps the connection alive.

This ongoing reciprocity helps ensure that the customer remains loyal and continues to engage with you and your business.

FINAL THOUGHT

Offer value first—whether through free advice, small gestures, or personalised attention.

When done authentically and with the right timing, reciprocity can lead to stronger customer relationships, higher sales, and long-term success.

​By doing this consistently, you can not only close more deals but also create loyal, satisfied customers who keep coming back.