One of the most influential principles in persuasion is the principle of liking, which Robert Cialdini discusses in his book Influence: Science and Practice.

People are more likely to say "yes" to requests from individuals they like.

This principle, when applied effectively, can help salespeople build rapport, establish trust, and ultimately close more sales.

On a personal note, being a massive introvert, immensely shy, and a total geek, this is the element of Cialdini's work that I have to work on most consciously!

WHAT IS LIKING?

The principle of liking refers to the tendency for people to be more easily influenced by individuals they feel a connection with or have positive feelings toward.

We are more likely to be persuaded by people who are similar to us, who compliment us, or who we find attractive in some way—whether that’s physically, socially, or in terms of shared interests.

In sales, understanding how to build this rapport can make a significant difference in converting prospects into customers.

BUILDING RAPPORT THROUGH SIMILARITY

One of the most powerful ways to trigger liking is by establishing similarity with the customer.

People are naturally drawn to others who share their interests, values, or experiences. When you highlight common ground with your potential customers, it creates a sense of connection and makes you more likable.

To use similarity effectively, you can:

Find common interests: Asking questions to uncover shared hobbies or experiences can help create a bond. For instance, if you discover a mutual love for hiking or travel, this connection can make the customer more open to engaging with you. The reality is, though, that this is pretty unpredictable unless you happen to have prospects who happen to be similar to you.

Mirror behaviour: We can have more control, and sell to a far greater range of people, by using behaviour.

Subtly mirroring a customer's body language, tone of voice, or speech patterns can make them feel more comfortable and connected to you. People tend to like those who act similarly to themselves.

People who are like each other, tend to like each other.

Share personal stories: Revealing personal experiences or anecdotes related to the customer’s needs or situation can humanise you and foster a sense of camaraderie.

By focusing on what you share with the customer, you make them feel understood and more likely to trust you.

Stories and metaphors are a powerful sales tool for lots of reasons. Build a bank of them that you can bring into the conversations. Preparation beats inspiration every time!

THE POWER OF COMPLIMENTS

Compliments, when genuine, can be a powerful tool for increasing likability. People generally respond well to sincere praise, especially when it aligns with their values or self-image.

Complimenting a customer on something meaningful can create a positive emotional connection, making them more likely to listen to your recommendations.

However, it’s crucial that compliments are specific and sincere. Generic flattery, such as "You're amazing" or "You're great," can come off as insincere. Because they usually are!

Instead, complimenting a customer on their choice, knowledge, or decision-making can be more effective.

When customers feel genuinely appreciated, they are more likely to develop a positive attitude toward you and your products.

DEMONSTRATING SIMILARITY AND CONNECTION

Beyond just words, demonstrating that you understand the customer’s needs and desires is another effective way to increase likability.

People are drawn to those who show empathy and concern for their well-being. Listen actively and offer solutions based on the customer’s specific situation and you will come across as caring and trustworthy.

Some ways to show understanding and empathy include:

Active listening: Pay close attention to the customer's needs and concerns, and repeat key points back to them. Word for word - not as a paraphrase. This demonstrates that you truly understand what they are looking for.

Validating their feelings: Acknowledge the customer’s concerns or challenges. For example, "I understand that it’s a big decision, and you want to make sure you’re choosing the right product."

Offering personalised solutions: Tailor your recommendations to the customer’s unique preferences and needs, which shows that you’re not just trying to make a sale but are focused on providing value.

When you show genuine interest and empathy, the customer feels valued, which strengthens the connection and makes them more likely to purchase.

“The key to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made”

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

While it may seem superficial, physical attractiveness can play a role in the principle of liking. Studies have shown that people are more likely to trust and agree with individuals they find physically attractive.

It’s important to note that attractiveness doesn’t necessarily mean conventional beauty—it can also include traits like a friendly smile, warm body language, or a well-groomed appearance.

Whatever your looks, you should focus on presenting themselves in a friendly, approachable, and professional manner.

A warm smile, good posture, and confident body language can enhance likability and create a positive first impression.

POSITIVE ENERGY (Yes, I went there!)

The emotional energy you bring to a sales conversation can influence how likable you appear.

People are naturally drawn to those who exude positivity and enthusiasm. By showing genuine excitement about your product and conveying a sense of passion, you can make the customer feel more connected to both you and your offering.

To harness this:

Stay upbeat and enthusiastic: Show excitement when discussing your products or services. Your energy can be contagious, making the customer feel more excited about the potential purchase. State matters!

Use humour appropriately: Humour, when used in the right context, can help break the ice and make you seem more approachable and likeable. It helps to build rapport by making the conversation enjoyable.

Too many salespeople, especially rookies, are waaaay too serious. We're having conversations and building relationships, not trying to pass an exam!

Positive energy helps to create a pleasant experience for the customer, which makes them more likely to trust and like you.

THE ROLE OF TRUST AND RELIABILITY

Liking doesn’t just come from shared interests and compliments—it also stems from trust.

People like those they can trust, and in a sales context, this means being reliable, honest, and transparent. Deliver on yourr promises and offer accurate information and you will build credibility and become more likeable in the eyes of the customer.

To build trust:

Follow through on commitments: If you say you will send an email or follow up with more information, make sure to do so promptly and as promised.

Be transparent and honest: Provide accurate information about products, including potential limitations or drawbacks, so the customer feels they are getting an honest assessment rather than a sales pitch.

Offer consistent support: After the sale, continue to offer helpful guidance and support, showing the customer that they are valued long after the transaction.

Trust is a foundational aspect of likability, and when customers feel they can rely on you, they are more likely to choose you over competitors.

USING LIKING TO OVERCOME OBJECTIONS

When a customer has reservations or objections about making a purchase, likability can play a pivotal role in overcoming these hurdles. Customers are more likely to listen to and accept solutions from someone they like. By leveraging the rapport and trust you’ve built, you can address concerns more effectively and guide the customer toward a decision.

​By demonstrating that you have their best interests at heart and offering personalised solutions, you can increase the likelihood of closing the deal.